I can't sleep.
Random thoughts threaten to spill out of my already-cluttered mind.
I'm trying so hard to remember...
I'm trying to grasp the cool metal bar of a jeepney ceiling to prevent myself from slamming into my neighbor.
I'm trying to savor the sweet coconut merienda and a nice hot cup of Milo.
I'm trying to see the white-gloved hands of well-practiced Onesimo youth as they form the words, "Let's praise Him."
I'm trying to smell the burning charcoal in the garbage community of Tondo.
I'm trying to hear Lin Lin's voice as she patiently teaches me this song:
Akoy lalapit nais ko na lumapit.
Itataas ang mga kamay at sasamba sayo oh Diyos.
Akoy yayakap nais ko na yumakap.
Hahagkan ang mga kamay at sasamba sayo oh Diyos.
Hesus, mahal kita. Mahal na mahal na mahal kita
ang pag-ibig moy aking nadara ma (x2)
But all I'm left with in the middle of the night is my own voice humming its tune.
And then I realize that I'm trying too hard.
"Be still and know that I am God."
Psalm 46:10a
1 comment:
Thank you for sharing, Rach. Because all this that you're writing down...it's such an encouragement even now. How in the midst of trying to grasp for memories, and in the middle of a sleepless insomniac night where your mind is back home, but your body is here in the US, yes, there's your own voice and what seems like nothing else...but then in that stillness, there's that whisper that gently reminds us of His abounding presence. Thanks for passing on that reminder :)
"Come to ME, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11: 28-30).
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